Initial Diagnosis... OH, #*?@!!!

Since my initial diagnosis of Diffuse B-Cell Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (NHL) on June 11, 2007, I have been living in a whirlwind of doctor visits, scans, tests, research and so on.

Planned an immediate family & friends meeting last Thursday evening to share the health diagnosis with my daughters...it was a great suggestion from a dear friend...it truly gave breaking the news to my children a wonderful feel of "community" surrounded by much love and support from everyone.

Finished the scans and had Doctor visit Noon on Thursday, June 28th to discover results and hear final recommendations regarding my treatment plan. Think he warmed me up a bit before because I thought the 12 week chemotherapy layout was all there was. OH NO, I will also be undergoing a Bone Marrow Transplant. So 12 weeks to finish chemo, 6-8 weeks recovery prior to the Bone Marrow transplant which will require a 2-4 week hospitalization (as I will have NO immune system). Followed by a 2-4 month recovery period at-home with, for sure, mythe first month very limited energy. The transplant will occur IF my cancer and my body are responding well to the chemo (so I'll be asking for continued prayers from everyone for some time), then they do the transplant to reach for the complete cure! OH yeah, I'm sure you're taking a deep breath too. Kinda can't help it as my little road trip has turned into a year-long adventure!!!!

Biggest shock was hearing the doctor say 2-4 weeks in the hospital, my eyes bugged realizing how serious it all just became....as you know, they don't like to keep people in hospitals that long. Couldn't sleep so searched the internet, then once I read an article (see link regarding Bone Marrow Transplants), oh boy, major melt down Thursday night at bed. It’s a good thing...gotta let it out but the realization that my 12 weeks when to a year plus and all the planning to be done. Had to sleep, so, held my sister's crystal she gave me, meditated to calm myself and fell fast asleep. Action number one Friday morning noted an index card with my Louise Hay affirmations. Plan to carry the card with me everywhere and repeat them day and night until solid to memory! And, I also expect I may cry a little each night too but I'll meditate, hold the crystal, say my affirmations, find my love and joy, be calm with inner peace and faith, and drift off to sleep.

Saturday, Margaret and I enjoyed a river view lunch while brainstorming the "much to be done and delegated" so we can outline and then really layout the plans...our goal is to lay a foundation that will support me (and the girls) and then let everything flow.

I hope these notes are clear. Just want you to know what's happening in my very overwhelmed brain. I do have ONE MORE test to check my gallbladder - Oncologist wants GI to take a good look before we begin chemo and transplant - he wants nothing to stop us once we begin! He's being very thorough....this is a doctor who wants to win this and get the full CURE! I'm so pleased and confident about him! And, all my candle connections work through or out of the same NW Cancer Specialist clinic so I feel very supported there too! It makes me feel strong. Feel the fear and do it anyway...well, not much choice! So smile in the face of it!!!!